Today is the day that I put all fears aside. The day that I forge ahead in the direction of my dreams. The day that I become the person I was always meant to be. The day that marks the beginning of the rest of my life.
I struggled with whether or not to write this post because in a sense, I've been living somewhat of a lie up until today and I wasn't sure if people would feel duped or not. I never meant to deceive anyone. I just did what I had to do, for as long as I had to do it, in order to do what I'm doing now. Let me back up.
Today, I am a full time Wedding Planner.
Yesterday, I was a full time Advertising Executive (and full time Wedding Planner "on the side"). And not everyone in my life knew this. I tried to keep them separate. Tried to live 2 different lives, not wanting my couples to think that I didn't have time for them, or that I wasn't serious about my business and their weddings. Not wanting my boss to think that I didn't have time for work, or that I wasn't serious about my job. Which led to much exhaustion, stress, and helplessness.
I enjoyed what I did.
And then one day I didn't. I tried different agencies, different clients, different projects. Nothing felt right anymore and I knew I needed a change. I gained incredible knowledge and made lifelong friendships, but I had lost the passion for the work, which I so desperately craved. And then I entered the wedding and event industry and everything seemed good again. That was 5 years ago and I've been working my butt off ever since trying to juggle the full time job and the start of a wedding industry career, which led to Ruffles & Tweed.
Deep down I knew I couldn't juggle forever, but there's something very scary about walking away from a life, and a career, and a paycheck you've known for a third of your life. So I stayed. And I struggled. And I pretended that it was normal. Normal to work 8, 9, 10, 12, 14, 16 hours a day in an office doing something that paid the bills but didn't feed my soul. Normal to then go home only to work another 4, 5, 6 hours on a business and work that I loved, but that wasn't getting the time and attention it deserved. Normal to sleep 3-4 hours a night. Normal to not ever go on vacation because all of my vacation days were used for weddings and meetings. I literally took off work to work. It sounds crazy now, but it was my normal for a long time.
Until now. Until today. The stars finally aligned. The hard work finally paid off. And I finally feel that I can start enjoying life again. Enjoy my husband, my baby, my family and friends. Enjoy the gym - oh the gym, how I've missed you. Enjoy the business that I started and enjoy working hard to push it further than I ever could've dreamed. Enjoy my couples who make it possible for me to live my dream. Enjoy the freedom of having 1 job and living 1 life.
No more fear.
My new normal starts now. Today is the day. I am a full time Wedding Planner.